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This week’s #FriendsFriday contribution comes to us courtesy of Jeff Nagle of The Roaming Mind. Jeff is our #VictorWalk Coordinator in Riverview, NB. Reach out to him at hawkeynut@gmail.com if you are looking for more info on this sister rally & walk which took place in Riverview on July 21, 2018.

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You are not doing yourself any favours by holding your story in. Live it, share it and give it away. The world needs you right now.

Everyone has a story. There is not one person on this planet that has not gone through some kind of adversity at some point in life or is going through some right now. While the old school of thought is to just bury it, don’t talk about it and deal with it, the new reality is, not reading your story out loud is no longer an option.

We live in a very open world, where demands on our transparency have never been greater. If we choose to remain closed, the battle between the reality on the outside and the truth that is building itself on the inside eventually break us down. Because we are so interconnected through social media, we can no longer just live our own lives as if we are on an island. Even if we don’t want to admit to it, we are constantly comparing our emotional state to that of others. If we have untapped emotional pain then this naturally happening emotional comparison only serves to drive us further into the ground.

I remember the life that I lead prior to coming forward with my emotional pain from childhood abuse. I was able to easily hold it in. As I had nobody else in which to compare to, I just believed that I was alone with my journey and accepted it as fact. It is no coincidence that with the rise of social media about 10 years ago (specifically, Facebook), my inner pain became a bit sharper. With more and more people speaking out, I began to hear my inner voice myself and I had an option to kill it or embrace it.

I chose the latter.

Recently, I had the opportunity to give my book to a world-renowned author and public speaker, Robin Sharma. He has written 11 books and his most famous book, The Monk Who Sold His Ferrari has sold millions of copies. While I was a nervous wreck giving him my book, I had a sense of pride that I was able to give him a token of my appreciation. His books have inspired me countless times and then being able to go to his seminars every year has given me even more energy to continue on, learning and living life to the best of my ability. As we were about to part ways, he thanked me for the book and then told me, “The world needs you now.”

The world needs you now.

This is not the first time that I heard this phrase being told to me. Each time I hear it, it resonates with me quite profoundly. It leads me to question, what does the world need from me? What more do I have to give? Am I giving enough? And the answer is always no. The world doesn’t need my past and it doesn’t need my future, what the world needs from me is my presence. And that is all the world wants from each of us, our presence.

If we are carrying around a lot of untapped emotional baggage, it becomes nearly impossible to live in the moment. We are constantly at war with ourselves and others who we feel are attacking the weakest parts of us. Once we can share our pain, expose our weakness and allow others to help fix us, then we become ambassadors of victory. It doesn’t mean you have to be completely cured of your past, it just tells the world you are working on being a better you. Being a better you only comes from being present and that my friend, is why the world needs you now. If each of us is truly open about our intention of healing, then there is no reason why many of our world’s problems cannot be solved.

Be present by sharing your voice, being open about your pain, and by giving your story away. The world needs you now.

 

 

Copyright Jeff Nagle, The Roaming Mind (2018).  Used with permission.

Our thanks to Jeff. Be sure to visit his site and follow him at https://theroamingmind.com.

 

First of a Five Part Series by Sandra McDonald

#MeToo is not a new movement, but it is new to Hollywood, and that means that, for this brief moment, it has grabbed the spotlight, our imaginations, and talk show conversation. The other night I watched an interview between a comedian and a famous actor. The former boldly challenged the latter to account for accusations of inappropriate touch. The latter, panic-eyed and breathy, choked out scripted lines (carefully shaped to reassure that he meant no harm, he doesn’t remember, he’s appalled that anyone could ever think…), decrying the shocking extent of sexual victimization in his industry.

But you, BFF reader, are not surprised by the reach of sexual assault, rape, or inappropriate touch and language. You already know that it can happen to anyone. Anywhere. And it happens at the hands of the powerful, the rich, the frightened, the poor. It is perpetrated by those who know better and who glory in the control they wield. It is perpetrated by those who were victims first, and who, truly, may not know any other way to be. It continues in closets and corners and offices and public spaces. It’s happened to you, and to the people you adore.

Maybe you’ve even contributed to this not-so-secret secret shame? Courage, friend. We all have. If only by our silence, the turning of an avoidant gaze, you and I share in this part of the human condition.

Organizations like BFF have had boots on the ground on these issues for years. They’re doing the good work of making space for conversation, helping us to find the language to shape and understand our own stories, and moving us forward in finding wholeness.

You have a role in this conversation, and in changing our world. If you are a man or a woman who has wounded another, it’s time to make things right. BFF can help with that. If you are a woman or man who has been wounded, will you give yourself permission to consider moving toward healing? There is space here for you, for your story, and for the restoration of your heart, mind, and body.

If you are the loving Other of one of the above, you are not powerless. Be the loving, attentive, and aware listener that your Hurting Person needs. Your part of hearing and helping is no small thing. Feeling inadequate and overwhelmed? That’s ok. This is really big stuff! But you can give to a work that is equipped to provide professional care. You can make it possible for the people who are courageously walking alongside the hurting to keep doing what they’re doing.

It’s ok if you and I are not comfortable putting ourselves out there on the front lines. It’s not ok for you and I to pretend that the people we love, and who love us, have not been marked by this.

Whatever our engagement in this (temporarily?) public conversation, let’s move things forward together. Then, when humanity revisits this conversation in the decades to come, it will have been propelled forward by good work done in our time.