My Victor Walk Story
I first heard of the Victor Walk in 2017 when they were travelling through Saskatchewan and making a stop in Swift Current. I immediately wanted to go and rid myself of the secret I had been carrying around for so many years, then I didn’t want to go, then I wanted to, and again I didn’t want to. I went back and forth with this anxiety for weeks leading up to the event and finally reached out to Shandra Carlson the night before. I got a message back and my mind was made up, I was going to go. I attended the event alone, I was scared, I was nervous, and I had no idea what to expect. I walked and made small talk with a few strangers, I stood by myself and listened to Theo tell his story still thinking “nobody would notice if I just slipped away, got in my car and headed home like I was never here”.
When Theo was done I asked him for a minute of his time, I am sure he knew what was coming but he stood with me and listened like I was the only person there while I told my story and I said “Me Too”. He didn’t offer advise, he didn’t compare my story to anybody else, he just listened and gave me a hug. It was then that I realized how amazing the Victor Walk really is, I looked around and saw everybody there in a different way. Whether or not they had been directly affected by childhood sexual abuse, they all chose to be there and chose to be part of the conversation. I suddenly didn’t feel alone, rather amongst a group or friends.
The next year my wife and I coordinated the Victor Walk stop in Medicine Hat. Again my anxiety was off the charts leading up to the event but quickly diminished once we started walking, I looked around and was realized these people are all here because they chose to be. Last year, we attended the Victor Walk in Calgary, I casually walked and shared some of my story with a complete stranger while also listening to why they were there. I didn’t think much of it until my wife pointed it out after and I realized how far I have come since that first Victor Walk.
All of that isn’t the say the journey has been easy. There was a time that I didn’t feel like a “Victor” at all. I thought a “Victor” told his or her story then could all of a sudden get up and talk about it like it didn’t affect them at all but that’s not what I was experiencing. I went to the walk, I told my story, why am I not healed? Was I not a “Victor”? I have since realized that I had it all wrong, that my story is a part of me and it’s going to be a lifelong journey, I am going to have triggers, I am going to struggle from time to time but I am continually moving forward. I have become a better person, a better husband, a better father, I am healthier, and I know there is always a community of people that understand me and are there for me. In my mind, that is what a Victor is and that is what the Victor Walk is all about.
-Andre Delorme
